Photo by Leslie Lopez Holder on Unsplash

Blog Post #1

An “edge” is place of contrast, a place of chaos, where boundaries are visible and encountered.  Change occurs at the chaos of life’s edges.  Change events can be unwanted or intentionally initiated in your life.

When you face unwanted change at a current edge in your life such as a breakup, betrayal by a signficant other, divorce, death, loss of a job, loss of living situation, etc., it is an opportunity for you to expand and grow into new relationships, experiences, skills and opportunities.

Unwanted change is an opportunity in your life to take things to the next level, to get to a new an better place in your life.

If you acknowledge and understand the circumstances of the unwanted change, you gain clarity about your own situation and that helps you build a new reality with confidence and enthusiasm for yourself in which you thrive.

There are many times when you desire to intentionally initiate change into your life. In such instances you have arrived at an edge in your life where just have an inner knowing that you need to do, become and experience something different.

When you desire to intentionally initiate change in your life, you voluntarily create new edges and new boundaries in your life where change can occur.  These new edges and new boundaries create triggers for new environments, situations and people to enter your life which bring in the opportunities for your personal growth.

Intentionally initiating change gives you the opportunity to take the next step up to a better place to lead the live you truly desire.

“So how do you get to the next level when unwanted change occurs in your life?”

Stephen Lesavich, PhD
  1. Acknowledge and Embrace Where You Are: When unwanted change occurs in your life, you have to acknowledge and embrace exactly where you are at that moment. There is a tendency in many people to try to avoid their current situation by engaging in actions that create distractions (e.g., using drugs, alcohol, excessive shopping, excessive eating, excessive traveling, etc.) and delay their acknowledging and embracing where they are when unwanted change occurs. Avoidance and denial of unwanted change by creating such distractions just delays the start of the desired healing that needs to occur from the unwanted change and prevents you from reaching the next level in your life.
  2. Be Aware of Your Emotional Triggers: Emotional triggers initiate an automatic personal response in you. Emotional triggers include thoughts, feelings, events, people opinions, situations, or environmental situations such as sights, smells and sound that provoke an intense and excessive emotional reaction within you. If you can understand your own emotional triggers and identify when they occur (e.g., seeing you ex with another person, etc.), you give yourself the opportunity to react in a new and different way than you may have done in the past. New reactions to your emotional triggers allow you to get to the next level when unwanted change occurs in your life.
  3. Stay Present: Stay in the present moment the best you can. Don’t dwell on the past. The unwanted change has already occurred. It is in the past. The past is gone and there is nothing you can do about it. The future has not yet occurred. So stay in the present moment the best you can. One technique to stay present is to take several deep breathes in, hold and exhale for the same amount of time (e.g., 3-4 seconds). Tune into your own body and become fully aware of everything around you. What do you see, feel, smell, hear and taste, right now? Staying present allows you to make decisions in the now to get to the next level when unwanted change occurs in your life.
  4. Take Steps Based On Positive Emotions: When unwanted change occurs in your life, you often react and take steps based on negative emotions such as, fear, anger, shame, guilt, etc. Taking steps based on such negative emotions makes it difficult to get to the next level and allow you to overcome unwanted change. Instead, try to take steps based on positive emotions such peace, joy, love, courage, etc. Taking steps based on such positive emotions will attract new people, situations and events that match the energy of these positive emotions into your life and allowing you to get to the next level and create the life you truly desire.

Just remember, the change you desire to get you to the next level occurs one step at a time.

Out There on the Edge of Everything®…

Stephen Lesavich, PhD

Copyright © 2019, by Stephen Lesavich, PhD.  All rights reserved.

My solution-focused life coaching techniques can help you get to the next level when you encounter unwanted change or want to initiate change in your life.

Published: October 23, 2019

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